Templar Magic
by Narya's Bane
Summary: The tale of Alyssa Trevelyan and her Commander Cullen - moment by moment, they both were lost.
1. Chapter 1

This will be a series of moments between Mage Alyssa Trevelyan and Commander Cullen. Will be sweet primarily, so be prepared for adorableness.

Beginning story...

The first time he he saw her, Cullen knew she was going to be trouble.

It was on the field of battle, and Cassandra was actually giving the pale woman credit for the deeds of the day. And it certainly wasn't her look- both the women he'd found himself interested in before now had that deep color in their cheek, and bright red in their hair. She was nothing like Ilyria Amell or Marian Hawke in that regard. Her hair was pitch black, and her skin paler than anyone he'd met before now. It practically screamed of protected Circle Mage.

It was the thrum of her magic, the feel of the lightening that pulsed around her, that called him. Her own symphony, separate from that of the Rift or the gleam in her hand. Whatever happened next, he didn't see her path ending. The concept frightened him, enough he kept their conversation brief. He was sure he sounded like an idiot, fumbling over his words; then again, he was on the battlefield, so maybe his natural element made him seem less foolish. He could only hope.

"Maker watch over you. For all our sakes."

She left then, and he realized he hadn't even gotten her name. But he knew she was going to undo him once the breach was closed.

-Transition-

The first time she saw him, Alyssa Trevelyan knew he was going to be trouble.

Somewhere between sealing the rifts and marching headlong to the Temple she saw the blonde vision, and her breath left her. She could do nothing but watch him as he spoke briefly...she heard not a word, though she was sure she'd desponded somewhere in the middle of it. Probably foolishly.

Everything about him screamed Templar. The way he held himself, his confidence. And she realized he must have been a good one, as she was hard pressed to actually consider going against any action he gave her. He was strength, and solidarity. He was...

"Maker watch over you. For all our sakes."

His eyes turned away, and in her head she cursed her clumsiness. But he had undone her, and she realized that wasn't such a bad thing. She had someone to close the breach for now.

And his name was Commander Cullen.


	2. Chapter 2

Alyssa met him on the field, enjoying watching him in his element. He handled his men beautifully. He was beautiful...

Clearing the distraction from her mind Alyssa walked up to start a conversation with Commander Cullen. He seemed to tense the moment he saw her, talking business as much as possible. Alyssa's heart throbbed. He didn't notice her. He didn't care. Likely she had lost this fight before it even began in her heart.

Then he started speaking of the Circles. Alyssa was wary, especially with his Templar background, but he kept it to their similarities. It sparked a thought in her head that had lain dormant since she had completed her harrowing: maybe the Templars were as stuck as the mages they imprisoned. Maybe they didn't like it any more than the magic users. Spurred on by the idea, she dismissed his apology for bringing up that way if life and started to delve deeper. Into him, his brothers-in-arms from before. He was choppy, careful with his words, but honest.

Then Alyssa made the mistake. She asked about Ferelden and the Blight, the lost Circle. His eyes lost their gleam, and he shied away. Alyssa was disappointed. They'd been doing so well.

So she changed topics. Asking about the troops. He glowed again, pleased. It made her forget the unease and fumbling and his earlier lack of regard. And she made a simple...tactical mistake.

She complimented HIM. A flirt, actually; a flattery from her lips, and he immediately lost his anchor. She saw him try to think how to respond and come up short. She sighed, loudly. Maker preserve her from her mistakes. He didn't like her, was trying to let her down gently. He even found the swiftest excuse to get away from her.

Alyssa refused to be heartbroken over a man she'd had two conversations with. Instead, she just decided to cover her bluster with work. Cassandra had said the Hinterlands were where to start. Turning on her heel, she went to pack her bag and start down the road.

She never saw Cullen turn around to watch her go, wistfulness and pain in his gaze.


	3. Chapter 3

Cullen was impressive.

Alyssa watched as he diffused the rabble, reminding Mage and Templar alike of their duty. With a smile, she considered her own stance, and knew he spoke truth. Whatever they were before, now they were the Inquisition, a beacon in the madness. She approached as they all left, finding the words to speak, at least try to create a friendship. She waited in the back, listening as he spoke more to the clerics. When she heard the term "rebel Inquisition" she knew she had to step in.

Her words, likening the Inquisition to a young family, seemed to do nothing. Even Cullen broke his cool when her words were dismissed.

"Because that would never happen to the Chantry." She could swear he rolled his eyes.

"Centuries of tradition will guide us. We are not the upstart, eager to turn over every apple cart."

"Cullen, remind me why we're allowing the chancellor to stay?"

"He's toothless."

Cullen looked at her, actually smiled, and Alyssa couldn't help but swoon a little. Her mind heard little more as he gave her the knowing, playing along at antagonizing the cleric. But a glimmer of concern burst from behind his eyes, and Alyssa knew he was afraid for their Inquisition.

Alyssa trailed to the war room thy had created in the back of the cold church and spoke with her advisors candidly. She had been schooled so long both as a diplomat and Mage that the decisions seemed to come easy to her. It was a nice change from the confusion she still had in the field.

Weeks did not erase the years behind Circle walls.

As she left to go back into the Hinterlands and drum up more support, Cullen tapped her shoulder.

"Yes Commander?"

"Herald. I hoped you might...have a moment." His eyes were dark, haunted. "I was concerned about...Val Royeaux."

"I'm not ready for that yet Commander."

"No. I know. It's just, when you do...the cleric is right. They'll be clamoring for your head. And I...want you to know...whatever happens...that I...that is..." He swore, almost unable to be heard.

"I'll be careful," she promised.

"I...yes. Thank you, Herald."

"If you are going to have concern fore, perhaps you'd best call me Alyssa."

"I..don't know..."

He was concerned for her. It was an odd thing, seeing Cullen out of sorts. Alyssa smiled, holding a hand to him. "Please. I'll insist, Cullen."

At the use of his name, he eased. "As you say, Alyssa."

She'd made was way. As Alyssa walked out, her mind was much more at ease. It wasn't what she hoped for but at least it was easier than nothing. And in time, maybe their friendship could grow.

She truly hoped so.


	4. Chapter 4

Alyssa was surprised to find she was comfortable with Templars. She didn't mind upsetting them, or that thy were trying to position themselves against her. The Seekers were a slightly different case, but Cassandra put her a bit more at ease.

Somehow she was more comfortable with the Templars than the other mages.

"Hera...ah, Alyssa."

"Cullen, I need some guidance." She frowned as she sat beside him in the Chantry. "If you don't mind, that is."

Cullen nodded slowly. "I will do what I can."

Alyssa began slowly, drawing her quandary out like a poison. "I am afraid I'm letting my past influence my decisions. About who we go to for our power. I don't know why, but it's like my experiences in the Circle, my faith, is so ingrained..." She trailed off, closing her eyes.

"You want to side with the mages, don't you?"

Alyssa sighed. "It isn't that easy, Cullen. I've seen the issues in the Circle, and I remember my harrowing. I remember the trust I put in my Templars, and then...well..." She shut her eyes tightly, a shuddering breath. "I see your calm in this storm and I desperately desire to keep my faith in your former brothers. I don't want to betray my fellow mages but I feel...Cullen, I want to make contact with the Templars."

She opened her eyes, seeing him gape-mouthed and staring. "You...want..."

"Am I letting my prior trust in Templars color this choice, Cullen? Am I making the right decision?"

Cullen paused. "I think it's your faith, Alyssa, that guides you. If you believe the Templars are the right path, then do so. I would say the same if you were looking to the mages."

Alyssa nodded. "Thank you. I feel...better about this."

The next day, Alyssa went to the war table and asked them to hunt for the Templars. Everyone else was surprised at her choice, but Cullen just flashed his smile, ready to help her see the job through.


	5. Chapter 5

It was like a bad romance novel was being written in front of her. If Varric hadn't been so clueless when she had asked Alyssa would probably have thought it was his doing- maybe research on a new book. The Hinterlands were damaging the Herald's calm immensely.

A mage who loved a Templar.

A scout taking advantage of a quiet moments to find love in the Hinterlands.

It actually made her ache for Cullen, and she was fairly sure he barely considered her a friend. On the one hand, their conversations had become continually more comfortable. He'd even told her about the distance he had required to keep from mages in the Circle- and the Templar vows. On the other, any time she tried to get flirty-to mess with him- he became...someone else. Someone flustered. It was more predominant.

If she could stop the stupid infatuation on her side, Alyssa would gladly have done so.

It made her more confident...

Confident he was unhappy with her.

There were more important things, Alyssa reminded herself. She made her aura calm as she entered the war council announced her decision. They would gather the nobles. They would seal the Breach with Templar aide.

Cullen was going crazier by the minute.

Alyssa Trevelyan was the source of his woes. Her words had begun to strike him as well as any blade, as if she knew his interest and was digging into him for it. Her manner remained aloof however, meaning this was all a cruel joke...

Or was it?

Alyssa did confuse him. Of that he was sure. One minute all business, the next with that lightly dangerous twinkle in her eye. She was every bit the trouble he had anticipated from the first moment.

Cullen hated dancing around her words.

After this...mess with the Templars was resolved he would speak with her. He promised himself. For both their sakes.


	6. Chapter 6

The Fade almost set her ablaze. Alyssa kept her face stalwart, her voice measured, but inside she couldn't handle it. First she watched Cullen die, killed at the demon's hand. It wasn't real, she reminded herself; couldn't be real. Then her hand had to...

Nothing after that frightened her as much. Even her own body, the thought of her own possession, meant nothing after that. She pushed through, knowing she must hurry. Yet her heart pounded, finding her way quite difficulty.

Alyssa shuddered at the end. Too much, too strong. This was wrong. Then she felt the presence, and heard the words. The spirit, Cole. He made her comfortable, clear-headed. She felt she could trust him.

After she escaped and had offered an alliance to the Templars, Alyssa was adamant about her needs. Vivienne, Blackwall, and Varric wanted to get back to Haven and be on the road; Alyssa couldn't do it. She asked for one night, and for that night she would stay alone. Her mind reeled: had she made the wrong decisions? Was the order too broken to aide the Inquisition? She didn't want to believe so, she couldn't believe that, yet her mind was racing. And in the back of it she saw Cullen, and wondered for the first time if gaining the Templars was the right thing for him too.

"Red lights and spikes, too many to count. Red means stop, red to halt. You saw what could be done with your power and worried what would happen to...the Lion?"

Alyssa shook her head and looked closer at the one who had assisted her in the Fade. "Cole you said, yes?"

"Cole is the boy's name, yes."

Alyssa smiled in spite of herself. "If that is what you are comfortable with then, Cole is what I will call you." She wanted to be alone of course but found this boy was not aggravating. "You helped me when nobody else could. Thank you."

The blonde looked at her strangely, as if he had no idea what to say to that. Alyssa sighed and looked around at the room she had been allotted. She sat on the bed and grabbed her hairbrush. As it ran through her hair she watched her visitor. He seemed to consider her a moment before speaking.

"Words should be simple but are not. Hesitation like the blonde lion but without the presence. Words that do not come easily. They just tumble out."

"Enough of that," Alyssa muttered, stopping him.

"Things to be told, too much to say. Are words hard for you as well?"

Alyss could help it. "Cole. I appreciate your help, but if you persist on saying thoughts out loud like that we are going to have a very short history as friends."

"The boy did not have friends. Do I want friends?"

Alyssa decided to soften up a little. "Yes you do."

"There is a word they want to say, a word on the tips of the Templars. You have helped them all, made them find themselves again. At first they respected Andraste's Herald, but it has grown. They trust you; they want to follow you."

Alyssa shook her head. "I'm still implicated in the death of the Divine I think. Nobody's following me anywhere."

Cole shrugged. "They want to. That matters more than what you may or may not have done. And they think of the commander. If he trusts you, and follows you, they will too."

Alyssa sighed. "Cullen. He does not follow."

"He is he lion, then? They say he follows. That he is slow to trust now, but he has written to say you are worthy of respect. Trust him. Trust her."

Alyssa finished running the brush through her hair. "Alright so the mind reading thing may be useful. I like it."

Cole disappeared but Alyssa knew she would see him again. Removing her light armoring, Alyssa laid down in bed and closed her eyes. She'd originally been afraid to sleep and enter the Fade, but as soon as her eyes closed she was shoved into a very pleasant dream. Then, at waking, a smile slid from her face.

She would have to talk to Cullen. As soon as she got back to Haven.


	7. Chapter 7

Alyssa hated arguing with Cullen. She didn't even think she would be capable of doing so with the aura around him- that whole militant pacifism that seemed to exude from him. Yet she finally found something to disagree with his ideas on- and that was Cole.

Any other discussion, any other thoughts, dissipated when the Spirit made his presence known. When Alyssa had explained his role, his uses...she'd seen Cullen go dour. Face falling, Alyssa did what she could to explain herself. In her mind the truth did out: the boy needed a friend, an identity. She felt with the Inquisition he could have that.

Cullen was not so keen on the idea. Even so, Alyssa held to her feelings. But it hurt. She saw the disappointment. He could not accept this.

"She is sad. The hurt is there though nothing else is. Did I hurt her? Why did I hurt her?"

Alyssa looked to Cole, his eyes seeing through her. "Cole, calm down. This isn't the sort of thing you have to say right. There is nothing to be said."

Cole looked relieved. "The thoughts are loud. The demons talked, but never like you. You are people, not just a symbol. It is hard to remember that sometimes."

"You don't have to say everything you hear."

Alyssa calmed, going about her day. She kept going, shuddering slightly. She didn't ask, so she never knew it was not her own thoughts but Cullen's he repeated to her that day.


	8. Chapter 8

When the mage attack started Alyssa turned to the blonde commander and, for the first time, let her uncertainty show. It made her very real, more human. Her concern was directed too, at everyone in Haven. Those dark eyes showed not terror, but determination.

"Cullen, give me a plan. Anything."

Cullen let his own demeanor soften as he brainstormed for her. She was a mage, not used to commanding Templars or large forces; his was the mind that would need to plan, though he could count on her to execute it perfectly. So he racked his brain, and guided the Herald's hand. The trebuchets. They were the best hope.

As Haven started to come down around him, Cullen watched for her. The whole place was burning, there was a dragon overhead, yet he stalled. He waited at the gates, letting out the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding when she finally dashed through. Giving commands was second nature, luckily, and he could think clearly today. That was good because it let his emergency persona take over, keeping detached. Time to consider the rest later. Though he understood reality- there would be no later.

Cullen shuddered as he gave his option. Covering Haven, burying everyone...

When the cleric spoke of the way out, his heart lightened. The Inquisition would survive. SHE would survive. He could stay and take out his mess.

Then she turned to him. "What about it Cullen? Will it work?"

He saw her eyes. She was determined. Cullen knew she was set on this course. He admitted he agreed, then saw her nod and prepare. It was something he hadn't considered: her mind was set on going herself. Dumbfounded, Cullen added, "But what about your escape?"

Alyssa couldn't answer him. She couldn't even look up. Cullen couldn't bring himself to look at her anymore. She knew what she was doing.

"Maybe you can surprise the elder one," the new arrival- Dorian, he had said- commented.

Cullen let the others go, then turned. He wanted to talk to her, to tell her, but the words stuck. Instead he gave her advice, letting that serve as his offering. He saw tears slide from one eye, quickly replaced with determination. It was a basic glance, but enough to set him aflame.

Andraste's herald had a strong will. He would see her again. He knew it.


	9. Chapter 9

Alyssa nearly collapsed at the old campfire. Actually, she almost collapsed hours back in her trek. Thank the Maker one single woman, even a slow and sheltered one, could move faster than the whole of the Inquisition's forces. She got within distance to see them and caught the image before her. Cullen, gape-mouthed, running towards her. He rushed near.

"There! It's her!"

"Thank the Maker."

Alyssa tried to take a deep breath, but it seemed to freeze within her. She looked ahead, seeing Cullen rush towards her, and let her body fall to its knees. Before she sagged anymore he was there, catching her before the final collapse.

"I knew you'd find us," was all she heard before darkness took her in.

- *** /. ! ***

Cullen pulled Alyssa from the snow cautiously. He saw the change in her mark, the strength of it having grown, and feared for her. More concerning was the chill of her skin though. He looked back at the others coming up behind him, Leliana and Josephine who had come over with him to see the way back to Haven and determine if she could still live. They weren't too far, but the trip back to the main camp and warmer supplies would take over an hour in this weather. Thinking fast, he took his cloak and wrapped her in it. With his armor, it would do her much better anyway.

There simply hadn't been time, Cullen thought as he carried her to their camp. Between the upset at the spirit, and the sealing, and the attacks...

Yet it had been Cole who guided him here, who had sent them in her direction. Cullen admitted now he had misjudged the odd boy. Never again. Cole had his gratitude.

The next few days passed in a blur for everyone. The Herald finally waking and the entire delegation bending the knee- her traveling ahead, guiding them with Solas to a new place of power- it was so strange. He imagined it more so for her, as her entire life changed.

The first night in Skyhold, as camp was set, he pulled the rest of Trevelyan's Circle to him. Leliana and Josephine were early, the others arriving slowly. Only Alyssa herself was absent, thankfully tired from the days' travels and ready to go abed. As she slept, the others planned.

"The Inquisition needs an official leader, a figurehead who is a true person I action," Josephine started. "I think we know precisely who is best suited to the job. Alyssa Trevelyan has a high name, the reputation, and the faith."

"More importantly she has the captivation of the people. She doesn't even notice they will follow her anywhere," Cullen added. "The Templars especially."

Leliana shrugged. "Many are already saying she leads us. The official title will be simply icing on the cake."

The others nodded agreement, after having seen her actions. So while Alyssa slept, the future was decided. Cullen smiled. It was all going as needed...

Then his face fell. He had no name, no prestige. He had only a broken past and an inkling she might be intrigued. He couldn't say anything about his feelings.

So even when she spoke to him after accepting her new place, even when she admitted she had done it in part for HIM, not the Haven residents overall, he could do nothing more than hurt for her. She reached for him, and he let it slide. He had nothing to offer.

Though that small voice in his head had changed. She became his someone special, the one he worked for. And he knew, somehow, he always would.


	10. Chapter 10

"As leader of the Inquisition you...there's something I must tell you."

Alyssa looked up at Cullen, seeing the pain and uncertainty. She leaned in, wanting to offer whatever comfort she could. When she had come in it had been with a very specific purpose: to see if his eyes were truly on her as hers lingered on him. Yet the pained expression had halted her, made her listen. It was not like the man she knew and had come to...

The newly-minted Inquisitor halted her mind, listening to him as he explained what he was attempting. Then her thoughts focussed, racing, as everything made sense. The hidden flaw. Why he had been keeping distance from many of the Templar recruits. She also thought to her days in the Circle, and the Templars who were cut off when supplies dwindled just before the rebellion. He was combating the heart of the Templar order: lyrium addiction.

"Cullen, if this could kill you..." Alyssa barely kept the trembling from her voice.

"It has not." Alyssa heard beyond that, to his determination. It would not get the better of him.

"I thank you for telling me. I respect what you're doing." After her words of support Alyssa left quickly, unable to keep her calm. Skyhold was still being built, trying to be something more again, and she felt like she was the one about to fall apart. Catching her breath, Alyssa walked back to the main hall and into an alcove thinking.

Cullen was a good man. When he was ready, she would talk with him about her intentions, but for now she would just have to support him. Ignoring the snap in her mind, she captured her emotions and headed along her way. Maybe someday she could go further- but this was not the time.


	11. Chapter 11

It was no secret that Alyssa Trevelyan was a devout follower of Andraste. She did keep her worship private however, explaining to her closest advisors that she had much to consider with the ancient prophet. So she wasn't seen at services often, nor speaking with Mother Giselle. The gardens, a haven for Andraste, were the only place she seemed to frequent...and only at odd hours.

Night fully fallen, Alyssa took this moment. Her hand hurt, the anchor's pulse aching terribly. Painfully. It was nearly a constant in her life, the hurt in her palm, and nothing could assuage it once it started. She'd talked with nobody but Cole about it, and even then only because he had already known. Nights like these were when she needed her faith, broken as it felt. So quietly, wrapping herself in a black cape to meld into shadows in the hall and chase away the chill, Alyssa let her feet slip to the gardens- abandoned in these darkest hours, lit only by a scant few memorial candles.

Alyssa found the farthest and darkest corner, taking no chances as she knelt to face the statue of Andraste. Had the bride been so calm as the carvings showed, Alyssa wondered, or was she doubtful and scared as well? It would be nice to think she had been uncertain, even if the idea bordered on heretical. Alyssa tightened her lips and set her head down heavily.

Nobody was here. Nobody would listen anyway, besides the Maker and his bride.

"You chose wrong," she whispered, rubbing at the anchor with the opposing hand. "I am far too weak, and a horrible herald of your will. I apologize. It would have been better if you had picked someone else and let me perish." She shuddered then, letting a few tears fall. "It isn't too late for your mind to change."

Alyssa had heard nobody else, had expected no one else, so when she felt a strong hand catch her shoulder she not only startled but discolored. Turning, she saw Cullen was the new arrival; his hair disheveled as the light clothing he was wearing, he knelt beside her, though his arm never left her shoulder. Everything caught in her chest as Alyssa realized he had heard her words. She moved to leave, to flee, but he caught her closer.

There was silence for several minutes, both choking back words. When words were found, it was through Cullen, who drew her near and started a whisper of verse.

"Oh Maker, hear my cry:

Guide me through the darkest nights.

Steel my heart against the temptations of the wicked

Make me to rest in the warmest places."

Alyssa let her body slack, leaning partially against his strength as she let her uncertain voice join.

"Oh Creator, see me kneel-

For I walk only where you would bid me, stand only in places you have blessed, sing only the words you place in my throat.

"My Maker, know my heart.

Take me from a life of sorrow, lift me from a world of pain.

Judge me worthy of your endless pride."

Alyssa fell silent, her voice breaking on the last line as she pulled herself straight. Cullen felt her uncertainty as she did, then grabbed as she suddenly cried out (surprisingly quietly) and started to topple forward, one hand grasping to cover the green pulse in her palm.

"I thought it wasn't supposed to hurt anymore," she sighed as she welcomed his assistance.

"So did I," Cullen acknowledged as he helped her stand and helped her to a nearby bench.

"I appreciate your aide, Commander Cullen, but I know you have much on your own mind. Please accept my apology for any interruption to your piety." Her eyes spoke the words as clearly when Cullen dared to meet them: you have your own battles, do not worry about mine. The message frustrated him. And then she stood to leave.

Cullen was embarrassed to admit he hadn't thought about the anchor paining her. Or the possibility she could be hurting like this, doubting her plan, though as he thought he remembered Mother Giselle holding her after Haven. That must have been something very similar, though Alyssa would have balked at true pity.

"Alyssa." He tried her name, remembering the brief time he had used it as a friend. She looked back to him, uncertain. Cullen gulped, unsure what he wanted to say. "You have helped me," he settled on. "I wanted to thank you. Nobody else shows the care you do. I also suppose...I need to apologize. I didn't consider your own struggles. Let me do for you what you have done for me. As a friend."

As he'd spoken, Cullen had come closer to her. Now he was in front of her, taking her hands in his own.

Alyssa started to protest, then paused. Cullen was quiet. Cullen was safe. She let out a single, ragged breath. "I'm scared of this thing. I feel like it wants me to give up or fail. Every day it drains a little bit more, and I don't know how long I can keep this up." She averted her eyes, likely sure he would be full of reproach.

Instead, he clasped her chin and pulled her head forward. What she saw was pain and a desperate longing to help her.

"I don't pretend to understand." He held her face, having brought it even with his own. He brushed a tear away from her eye, gentle. "I do promise I will be here for you, and that you are wrong. You are unbelievably strong, Alyssa."

"I don't want this Cullen."

"You'd be mad if you did, but that isn't what matters. What matters is the grace you keep in the situation, and you have kept yours admirably." Cullen closed the small gap between them at that instant, his lips brushing chastely and lightly against hers.

Alyssa was not expected the sensation Cullen's slight kiss brought. It was as if all her magic had just been sapped, including the anchor. It processes that her hand didn't hurt anymore, but other than that she just felt light. She remembered one time in the tower when a Templar had caught her in a spell purge; that was the closest she could describe it, but this was very pleasant.

When Alyssa managed to think, she aw a look of near horror on Cullen's face. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, having let her go completely. "I don't know what...happened...or what...that was."

"Don't be sorry. Andraste answers our calls in unknowable ways, Cullen. I am glad she has done so in this way." She smirked and headed to the doorway. "And if you don't know what a kiss is, I think you might be fuzzier than I." Those words out, she disappeared into the hall.

Cullen was left alone. He turned to the statue of Andraste and considered her a moment. He had originally come to ask guidance in his own struggle- hoping the air would also clear his head. He'd fully expected to be alone until he detected the Inquisitor's voice, her cry for help just barely audible but cutting.

Cullen's eyes narrowed as he made his way to his quarters. She had asked, and said Cullen was her answer- though he wondered what he had done. He'd barely kissed her when he felt a sharp spark fill him, wondering if it was her warning he'd gone too far. Yet she's seemed so calm after that the idea didn't make sense.

When he crashed in bed, the thoughts of her pushed out anything else. No nightmares, no blue or red hazes. Just Alyssa Trevelyan.

In her own room, Alyssa was still shocked. Whatever had happened had sapped the anchor. It still glowed in her palm, but even as her own energy returned se didn't feel the pain from the mark. Not for now at least. Maybe it was about him being Templar trained. Maybe it was jut that he was Cullen. Whatever the reason, Alyssa was able to pass into a gentle and normal sleep, at peace for once since the fiasco began.


	12. Chapter 12

Alyssa had made a command decision when she returned from the Storm Coast. Steeling herself, she took her courage and went directly from the gates to Cullen's tower. Enough was enough. He had finally displayed true interest, and care. She wanted more, and desperately needed to know his thought on the matter.

"Cullen?"

"Inquisitor! You're back."

"I...thought we could talk." Alyssa felt her heart pounding. Maker was this hard! "Alone."

Cullen was always a bit fumbling when it came to the two of them. That said, Alyssa was surprised he didn't drop the stack of papers as he replied and followed her lead up the wall. It was sweet, and very uncertain...when he could barely think to talk. He tried to return to avoidance, discussing the weather.

Not this time. "What?" After everything she'd been experiencing she'd be damned if this remained unresolved after months of wanting and loneliness.

"It's...there was something you wished to discuss?" Alyssa swore he looked like a ten-year old boy right there, and the image was instantly appealing.

Maker help her.

"Certainly not the weather."

"I assumed THAT much." He suddenly looked distant, uncertain. "I can't say I haven't wondered what I might say to you in this sort of situation."

Alyssa wanted to pull him close and experiment with his kisses. She feared, however, that doing so would cause him to clam up and fumble again. She was so tired of that, and very tired of waiting. Now she knew. Either he would reject her or accept her, but it would be his choice and it would be NOW.

"What's stopping you?" Her words came out edgy, not how she wanted at all, but she saw him calm as he turned to her.

"You're the Inquisitor. We're at war and you- I didn't think it was possible." Alyssa saw the fear in his eyes, and realized her miscalculation. He'd been more afraid than her. He had thought her the one uninterested. She obviously hadn't made herself quite clear enough.

"And yet I'm still here," Alyssa pointed out, gentle, sliding closer to him.

Cullen eased at the indication. Alyssa felt his breath on her, so close now. "So you are." He was touching her now, leaning close. "It seems too much to ask, but I want to." And he leaned in...

Alyssa wished she knew the name of the blasted agent who interrupted them. Experience showed the moment was past, and Alyssa was ready to break. Because she needed this. In the middle of it all, she needed HIM. A rock, somewhere to stand...

When the agent left, Alyssa did her best to hold back the disappointment. "If you have to..."

Then his lips were on hers again. Only this time there was nothing cautious or chaste about his demand. Alyssa felt the same relieving sensation as in the garden, almost knocked off her feet by the feeling. Luckily she had expected it this time and braced herself on the stonework of the wall quickly.

"I'm sorry. That was- uh- really nice." He was blushing profusely, and Alyssa had to smile. The uncertainty gone, his reaction was endearing. Just what she might expect from a Chantry boy. She pushed through the haze, squeezing his hand gently.

"I believe that was a kiss. But I can't be sure- it's all a blur," Alyssa admitted, though from Cullen's reaction he understood and could laugh with her. Lightheadedness be damned, she couldn't wait to do it again.


	13. Chapter 13

All night Alyssa was busy captivating the Orlesian court. She spoke carefully, danced gracefully, and acted with the utmost discretion. The standard uniform of the Inquistion hardly suited her. Cullen was much more apt to imagine her in the lace and silks sported by the rest of the room, with how seamlessly she went from Inquisitor to courtier. It reminded him this was the life she'd been meant for, before her magic, and he wondered if she would have been happier in Ostwick.

The consideration lasted until he met her on the balcony. After having expended herself on the nobles, she had the defiant look of one desperate to rush off. And, looking, he realized she'd found the perfect place for it.

Coming closer he settled next to her. "There you are. Everyone's been looking for you." At her cringe he assured, "Things have calmed down for the moment. Are you alright?"

He saw as she rubbed her hand, leaning heavily on the railing. "I'm just worn out. Tonight has been...very long." A sigh accented her words, from those petal soft lips Cullen suddenly and desperately wanted to press against.

Instead he chose to stay beside her, considering the palace. He hated this, and... well, she'd been kicked out of the gentry for her magic so long ago it couldn't bring happy memories. To him, however, it bent his mind. Everywhere he saw decadence, danger. It was exhausting. "For all of us," he finally managed. "I'm glad it's over." He shifted nearer, thinking now. "I know it's foolish but I was worried for you tonight."

Alyssa beamed, curling close into his arms for the briefest of moments. A smile played at the edges, and Cullen knew he had eased her mind. He had always known he was lost from the start, but as she looked up with absolute love it was like a vice closed around his heart. Unconditionally, he would do anything.

Including make a fool of himself.

"I may never have another chance like this, so- I must ask. May I have this dance, my lady?"

Pleasure and confusion warred in the mage's expression. "Of course! But I thought you didn't dance?"

Cullen found his tongue near stuck in his mouth. She deserved to know precisely what he felt, why his mind had changed, but he had no words to describe it. He pulled her in place in his arms, reveling at a different kind of closeness with the woman he loved, and smiled. "I'll try," was all the wording he could manage.

Somehow it was enough.


	14. Chapter 14

First off, thank you to everyone following! If any of you wish to comment or message with suggestions for future scenes I am open to it!

This one is a little Valentine fluff. Enjoy!

- *** Break A/N *-

"Are you sure about this, Inquisitor?" The templar and mage elders both looked at her, very trepidatious, though only the templar spoke. "I hadn't heard you deciding to reinstate the practice for the general populace."

Alyssa let her frustration bubble to the surface lightly, doing her best not to grumble. "This needs to be an individual choice. After all, technically speaking- it IS blood magic."

Both the mage and the templar shifted uncomfortably, the time the mage responding. "And yet you do not wish to abandon the practice completely?"

It was getting hard not to sigh or roll her eyes. Very hard. "I have my own reasons for this request gentlemen. Is everything ready, or shall I come back in the morning?"

"Of course. We simply wanted to make sure..."

Alyssa stopped listening, and let her mind wander. The task at hand was simple, but important. For many reasons.

Leliana had taken Trevelyan aside after Adamant and explained the issue. It seemed that Cullen's sleep had worsened lately, even if Alyssa hadn't noticed. Because it was unique to her absence. His greatest fear may be losing control, but another was quickly replacing it after her latest adventures: losing her. Luckily, due to who Alyssa was- and who Cullen was- she could assuage his fear.

The process took two hours. Alyssa didn't remember it being so short, but admitted that childhood often twisted memory. When it was completed night was long fallen. She considered waiting, but saw the lights on at the small tower and decided to take a chance.

As soon as she entered, Alyssa saw that Cullen was staring at a drawer in his desk. He didn't even notice as she opened the door, entranced. She slid to the side, leaning against the wall.

"I could come back later," she suggested. That caught his attention.

"My lady! I'm sorry, I didn't...I mean, I wasn't..." Finally Cullen stood and stepped in front of his desk. "How can I help you?"

"Back to 'my lady' is it? What happened to Alyssa?"

"Alyssa, yes. I...what was it you needed?"

Alyssa sighed deeply, the sigh she had been holding back all night. "There is a very important matter I needed to discuss with you, both as my love and as the Commander of my forces. If you have a moment."

"Of course."

Alyssa moved to lean on his desk, feeling him relax and sit beside her. Her hands fell into her pockets as she looked up into his eyes. She caught it now: the uncertainty, the concern. It strengthened her conviction that she had done the right thing.

"It has come to my attention," Alyssa began, "that my lifestyle is far from predictable. I realize it is a bit reckless considering Corypheus is after me. So I thought perhaps it would make sense for someone in the Inquisition to be able to find me. Would you agree, as my commander?"

Cullen's brows furrowed in confusion. "I suppose so."

"Good. Now, the mages in Ostwick made a mess of the depositories when they rebelled. Probably best- the templars were not the most reliable. Our new friends were very helpful in rectifying the situation."

"Alyssa, I am lost."

The mage pulled her hands from her pockets and took Cullen's tightly. He felt a familiar, warm weight placed in his palm. He blinked, surprised beyond words. Silence reigned, her not breaking his gaze and him afraid to look in his hands. Alyssa finally broke the silence, asking, "Is...is this alright?"

Cullen finally looked down. His hands shook as his eyes confirmed what he already knew. It was a phylactery. By the brightness, the warmth, he also knew without a doubt: it was Alyssa's phylactery. She had taken the opportunity to attach a chain as well, making it easy to have close. His hands shook slightly with the weight of it. "Trevelyan... Alyssa, I..."

The mage wrapped his hands tighter in hers. "I trust you beyond anything Cullen. This was a smart idea, and if anyone was going to hold it I prefer it be you. You can't lose me anymore, Commander." With that, she leaned in to steal a brief kiss; enough had been shared the headiness of it did not affect her nearly so much anymore- for which she was grateful. She felt light enough after the evening, and his dumb-founded reaction.

"I don't know what to say," the former templar admitted. "I will keep it close. Always." He slid it over his neck, letting it drop under all the layers to be close to his heart. Alyssa smiled widely, relieved by his acceptance.

"Thank you, Cullen," Alyssa said breathily. "I should... get back to my room, I suppose."

"May I escort you, Lady Trevelyan?"

The way his eyes sparkled at the notion, she didn't dare decline.


	15. Chapter 15

Alyssa still loved watching Cullen work. His confidence was always highest in those moments. Completely unguarded, he spoke with his men with the utmost command. It was easy to see why they trusted him. She found it intoxicating herself. Leaning against the wall by the door she watched him, a tight smile crossing as she observed.

Cullen's demeanor changed. He must have felt the heat against his skin as her last gift to him announced her presence. Alyssa saw him search the room with his eyes, finding her at the doorway. He wrapped the meeting quickly, shoving everyone out the door. For her. Leaning heavily against the doorframe, he sighed and addressed her. "There's always something more, isn't there?"

Alyssa moved towards him, her words careful. "Wishing we were somewhere else?"

Cullen shook his head. "I barely found time to get away before. This war won't last forever." His demeanor changed as he took a place nearer his desk, and gestured to Alyssa "At the start of it I hadn't considered much beyond our survival, but things are different now."

The gentleness in his voice made Alyssa tremble. "What do you mean?" Because what she hoped was impossible.

"I find myself wondering what will happen after. When this is over." She had learned his tells. He wanted to caress her, to kiss her, but something had to be said first. "I don't want to move on. Not from you."

Then the old nervousness returned. Alyssa bit her lip, not willing to laugh at him. It was endearing, and as close to a proposal as she would get from him for the moment. He stumbled on the words, but Alyssa heard what he meant behind them.

Alyssa leaned close in, purposely alluring. "Cullen- do you need to ask?"

They were so close now. His breath on her neck, distracting. She slid, hear the crashing as something fell from his desk. Then their eyes met, both of them catching their breath and slipping a heartbeat before Cullen cleared the desk in a single shove and whisked her down, pressing himself on top of her. It was a sound move. The kisses were enough to make her lightheaded, and when he moved in for these deeper than ever she felt the room spinning.

"Alyssa." He nuzzled her cheek, her nose, and forced another kiss on her lips. She wrapped around him, expectant and waiting. "We should take this upstairs."

She could just barely nod agreement. He scooped her up, moving to the prime location. He loved her dearly, and she would take the chance to show him how deeply hers ran in response.


	16. Chapter 16

I want to take this time to thank everyone who has been reading and reviewing! I am setting this as complete... I might consider a sequel if anyone asks, but I definitely would be interested in input if I do, so let me know!

So without further ado, Alyssa's happy ending.

- End A/N -

The curtains were closed, the sunlight completely blocked out of the Inquisitor's room. A light snore came from the center of the bed, where a mess of black hair leaned on a worn-out, stuffed mabari puppy. Cullen walked in and had to suppress a snort. Obviously Inquisitor Alyssa Trevelyan had decided to sleep in this morning.

"Alyssa?" He heard a mumble from the bed, but also the snores came even louder. With a sigh, the commander went towards the window and opened it up to the light. It fell directly on the sleeping mage, who grumbled and pulled a blanket over her head. "Alyssa, sweetheart, it's time to get up. People are starting to look for you." Alyssa mumbled unintelligibly, getting a chuckle from Cullen. "What was that?"

"I'm taking the month off," she announced lightly, squeezing the mabari toy closer and ducking further under the covers.

"Yes well, you saved the world and the people in it are now quite interested how you see it coming back together."

Alyssa peered out, one eye open. "Leliana is about to be the Divine. I order them to seek guidance from her instead. There. Now let me sleep."

Cullen finally laughed, sitting beside her on the bed. "What if I want to spend time with you?" Her response was to reach up and starting to pull her commander down into bed. "Nope," he announced, instead standing and pulling her off the bed- mabari, blankets, and all. Only to sigh as she just curled up and pulled the blanket around her form on the floor. "Alyssa, you've been hiding out here half a day. I know. I was here most of them."

Alyssa huffed. "It's been a year since I had time off, Cullen. If you love me let me sleep."

Cullen frowned at that. "Aren't I worth your time, my love?"

Alyssa sighed and stretched her arms up. "Alright. I'm up."

Cullen bent over and grabbed her, picking her from the floor and carrying her over to the balcony. "See. The day is lovely, too. I thought maybe a picnic later, if you want."

"I'd like that," Alyssa sighed happily, leaning back in his arms and looking over the vista. "You're right about it being a lovely day. I can't imagine a better one."

"Neither can I." He held her close, quickly gathering his courage. "You know, with Corypheus dead, we are to that... after we spoke about."

Alyssa reached for his hand. "Second thoughts about moving on, Commander?"

"Quite the opposite. I was rather thinking of marrying you." He felt her stiffen. "I'm sorry. I was too bold..."

"Cullen. Don't take that back. Please." She was trembling a bit now. He looked down to see her shivering slightly in his hold, not daring to open her eyes. "Don't let this be a dream."

"No dream, Alyssa." Cullen reached into a pocket to pull out a simple band, gold with various times etched throughout. He drew her left hand up, sliding it on her finger. "Not if you want this. Want... me. I'm still fighting, working through the past, but I know I want to do so with you."

Alyssa turned to him, looking in his eyes. "I'm a mage. We can't..."

"Leliana is changing things for all the mages, including this. We can set an example as well as be bound together in the eyes of the Maker."

Alyssa's eyes brightened. "Yes. A thousand times yes, Cullen."

The sun felt a little warmer, brighter. Cullen picked her up, spinning her around and laughing. Her giggles added to his, and soon they were spinning and giggling happily. His lips finally found hers, his arms supporting her as she wavered. Wrapped up in each other, they lost track of time and wound up spending the day locked in her quarters after all.


End file.
